Sally got diagnosed with cancer in early 2019. Fighting it quickly became her full time job. She drove herself to daily radiation and chemotherapy treatments through the early part of that summer. I went with her for the clinic visits and between us got pretty familiar with the drive to Princess Margaret Cancer Center downtown Toronto. The car got used to it as well...some days it seemed it drove itself! One of the games we played was to see if we could snag a parking spot on the lowest level of the Murray Street parking garage. Most days we ended up near the top.
After the initial treatments ended and the quarterly scans continued to show no evidence of the lung cancer we moved ever so optimistically into thinking that it was under control. I got severely scolded once when I blurted to friends on Facebook that she was in remission! That was late 2021 and Sally had moved to 6 month scans and clinics. You can understand my growing optimism.
Then the fog rolled in.
Early 2022 started with a bang. Literally! Intense headaches and vertigo symptoms. Her dizziness led her to quit driving. And if you know Sally, she loved driving...and her Volvo!
We stumbled through multiple doctor visits trying everything to no avail. Around April, in a regular clinic visit at PMCC, she noted the worsening symptoms. There reaction was immediate: Brain scans were scheduled for that same week with follow up clinics only days later.
The fog grew more intense...visibility now down to only a few hundred metres.
One of the quirks of the medical system is that the results of tests are reported directly to the patient via their personal portal. We saw the results the day before the clinic with the brain cancer specialists. While we were not experts, we googled the 'big words' and strung together enough to understand that the multiple brain tumors that had shown up were pretty serious. Thankfully we only had to wait a day to meet with the specialists.
Now we slipped into the twilight zone.
By another quirk, I was not able to be with Sally as she met with the doctors face-to-face. I joined by telephone while sitting in the car in the rain. COVID protocol at the time limited my access. I heard the news that it was likely that her lung cancer had likely metastasized into at least 3 brain tumors and she needed surgery immediately! Only one was operable unfortunately...other treatment would follow.
We were now living full time in that fog in the twilight zone. I'm still there...
Through all of this I've come to understand and appreciate the value of life more intimately and intensely. I can't share any lessons I've learned yet but I know a couple of things for: First, tomorrow is not promised. Today, do all the things you need to do with friends and family. Don't procrastinate. Second, getting angry over something done to you is a waste of energy. There are garbage people everywhere. I'm learning how to let them be.
Until next time...
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